Krabby Patties

Defrost approx 1lb of synthetic crab. People, this is the midwest. This is all we get for 4.00/lb here. Mix together one egg, 1/2 cup of Contadina 2 cheese breadcrumbs, 1/2 cup of Progresso Italian breadcrumbs, some celery salt, tarragon, basil, and 1/4 cup of mayo (not miracle whip). Once that becomes pasty, toss in your stringy fake crab and mash with your hands. Once that Alaskan Pollock looks like a Jackson Pollock, squash it into 6 reasonably uniform patties. Fry 5 min on each side in some canola. Take a wild guess as to what sauce you're supposed to use and eat them with mayo. Yeah, like I really want to make my own aioli after trying to build a retarded powerpoint presentation all day.

Bonus: I also made a salad.

One bag of lettuce. I used 'Field Greens'
One tomato - chopped
One tub of feta cheese
Some sliced red onion
and some sliced black olives
and a healthy dose of balsamic vinaigrette

All of this goes into a large freezer bag. Then you shake it. Shake it. Shake it like a __________________.
Dump into Corningwear bowl.

Lean mean panini machine

Heat your Foreman grill.

Assemble sandwich of cheese, onion, tomato, roast beef, mayo whatever you want on a long bakery roll.

Press in the grill for 3 minutes. Your sandwich will be great and you didn't have to pay 8.00 for 1/3 of that at Panera.

Prissy Pizza for Pennies

Ok, this one is actually sinfully easy :

1 - pizza crust dough (get one from your local pizzera, or Pillsbury refrigerated dough is good too! find it near the crescent rolls and tubes of cookie dough)
1 - container ricotta cheese
1 - head of garlic
1 - chicken breast (I buy the "tenders" which is the presliced breast meat 'cause I'm a lazy jerk)
1 cup - mozzarella cheese (did I spell that wrong? It looks weird to me)
1 cup - chopped asparagus or broccoli or any other pizza friendly veggie
extra virgin olive oil

Chop garlic into small pieces. Sautee chicken in pan with olive oil and garlic - adjust for preference (I personally LOVE garlic and use a million cloves). When chicken is 3/4 cooked (still slightly pink) toss in chopped asparagus or broccoli to cook slightly and soften (and coat them with garlic goodness!!). Cook chicken thoroughly and dice into bite size pieces. I usually just jab at the chicken while it's cooking to break it up. 2 part benefit : already sliced and it cooks faster!

On a cookie sheet, lay out your pizza dough and brush lightly with olive oil. Top with more garlic if you really like bad breath. Then make a thin layer of ricotta cheese across the crust. If you're working with the Pillsbury dough, you'll get a rectangular dough, so you can fill it end-to-end. Once the ricotta is in place, top pizza with chicken and veggies of your choice. Lastly, add mozzarella on top.

Follow crust baking directions (usually around 10 minutes) and ta-da! You have pizza.

Thrifty Tips :
* use left over chicken or veggies
* you will need only a small amount of mozzarella on this one - you can even skip it if it's too expensive for you
* cut your pizza "sicilian style" into small squares to make portions smaller and your food budget go further

This pizza is ridiculously easy and sorta fun to make, but for some reason people are always really impressed by it. I think it throws them for a loop that there aren't any pepperoni!