Whiskey Chicken

1 bottle wishbone italian dressing
tabasco to taste
1 of those little airplane bottles of whiskey
6 chicken breasts

Dump all ingredients in a ziploc bag. Let sit overnight.

Get your grill fired up to about 400 degrees.
Get a bottle of your favorite barbeque sauce (I like the new
Jack Daniels ones)

slather up the chicken with the bbq sauce. Flip every five minutes or so and
keep brushing sauce on the chicken until you're out of sauce. One bottle
should last you 30 minutes of flipping.

Serves 4.

crockpot bbq

1. your creepy uncle dug a rust-orange crockpot circa 1973 out of your grandfather's garage and gave it to you. make your husband (substitute boyfriend, manfriend or self) clean it for you. 2. take a big chunk of beef chuck roast and cut it up. put it in the crockpot. 3. pour an entire bottle of bbq sauce over it. i don't care what kind, but you might. 4. cook on low for 8 hours. 5. spoon the beef out and shred it up with two forks. 6. consume over toasted white bread.

Calamari 2.0

Find that local international grocery (Global Foods, 421 N Kirkwood Rd. Kirkwood, MO 63122) stocks pre cut frozen squid rings. Thank god. None of that gut, clean and slice crap from last year. Same international grocery also stocks english fish and chip batter. Totally cool.

A few weeks later a houseguest is over and suggests you make squid. Go to independent bookstore. Go down the street to another international grocery and fail to find cocktail sauce, but leave with crab chips, wasabi peas, and chinese biscuits. Stop at another grocery for a lemon and cocktail sauce.

Defrost squid in large plastic collander. Liberally squeeze half a lemon over it. Roll in flour and dip in the batter you've made according to the directions. Drop about 1- pieces at a time into pot of boiling canola (hint: boiling olive oil smokes and is gross. Canola works great). You have 2 MINUTES MAX to do this, any longer and you're going to end up with batter dipped Goodyear. Drain on layers of paper towels and eat with more lemon and cocktail sauce.

a very hoosier dinner
or
thou shalt not speak ill of the shake and bake

chicken breast
shake and bake of your choosing (i used regular)
throw in a 350 degree oven for half an hour

also, green giant makes this frozen mixed vegetable stuff with pucks of alfredo sauce. best. loser. side dish. EVER.